Improving Your Relationship Through Tantra
by Suzie Heumann
"Whatever thoughts are in their minds, they vanish completely with the onslaught of passionate embrace. When a man and woman are all in oneness, thus clasped together, there is nothing in the whole world to surpass the superb joy of that moment."
Ah, in a perfect world this is the way it would be. We would be so in love that we couldn't wait to see each other; to smother each other in kisses and caresses; to tell each other of our day with all its intimate hurts and little glories.
The reality is that sometimes long-term relationships begin to develop into more of a basic support system than a loving, growing, vital partnership. We begin to discount touch, care, clear communication, trust, truth telling and sensual and sexual activity. The daily grind runs our lives and relationships.
When we can step back and vision another set of possibilities, though, we can bring about profound transformation to our marriages and relationships. The Kama Sutra and the tenets of Tantric philosophy taught that love is a profound vehicle to conscious, ecstatic living. Practices included not only a complete set of positions but elaborate techniques for kissing, hugging, holding, speaking and conducting one's self in an honorable manor, according to the times.
If you find yourself in this situation with your lover, it often feels impossible to create a new vision and possibility in which to build your loving connection. Try spending five minutes every morning and every evening in the Spoon Position. Place the woman in the front, on her side, and her partner just behind her, in a lying down position. The person behind then places their hand over the heart area of the front person. The front person sets the pace of breathing slowly and consciously.
This practice aids in putting us into a common space and rhythm from which to relate. Practice telling the truth! When we say what is in our hearts in a vulnerable, non-blaming way, our partner will have compassion and caring show up in place of hurt. Introduce a new playful experience into your lovemaking.
Perhaps you might want to blindfold your partner and treat them to an hour of sensual pleasuring. Tantric philosophy has us take risks to explore the realms of conscious growing. Risk something with your partner - tell a truth, try something new, give where you haven't before, make an unreasonable request that will actually delight your partner.
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